I AM your baby: A catcalling satire

Updated: Aug 1, 2019


Growing up I was taught from an early age to ignore men shouting out cat calls as my mother and I walked the streets of our hometown. Like many other little girls i thought to myself “ Ok. My mom knows of this so i guess its normal”- not taking another second to dwell on the meaning behind it all. By the age of fourteen i realized it was getting harder for me to continue looking straight ahead acting as if I didn’t feel the eyes of a grown ass man leering over my preteen body. As a preteen I had to mature and understand the effect that even my undeveloped body had on men- it was as if they were animals that could not control themselves. Cat calling seemed to be a virus and any men with eyes were possible carriers. Throughout the years I experienced more and more of the verbal sexual harassment until I finally had enough with a no-name standing outside of grocery store who referred to me as “baby”. I will spare the details of the interaction but I bring this to you because no name asked “You really don't like that?”.


Let me start off by stating that women absolutely love being told to smile when being grabbed while walking down a street. I mean, what could be more attractive? We love cat calls so much in fact that we teach our sisters and daughters that we should always go along with it and that it’s simply the way men are. Accepting the wild sh*t some men do without protest is something that should be taught by men to their own daughters and sisters as well because after all, don’t you want them to indulge in the very culture you practice? We would hate for them to miss out on the fun!


Cat calling teaches young men lots of valuable lessons about how they should be treating women. Some important topics to discuss should be using misogynistic language, objectifying women’s bodies, and most importantly “being a real man” because this is the only way to be accepted into manhood. This is all very important and even dire to ensure that our men grow into healthy and confident young kings. It shows them that they are strong enough to take whatever they want whenever they want and from whom ever they want- they should always be in control.


Model: Mr.B Tate

Now- there ARE a few parents that, for whatever reason, do not agree with this culture so my advice to them is this: It is in the nature of men to throw themselves at women so therefore we cannot blame them when cases of sexual assaults occur. If your daughter did not want to be hollered at she wouldn’t be stepping outside in short shorts, tops that show cleavage or any skin for that matter. If you are one of those parents worry not- schools all over instill this in young girls by making dress code rules like “no bare shoulders or knees should be visible" all in order to keep from distracting their male classmates who cannot help themselves at the sigh of bare shoulders.


Last but certainly not least, it is important to remember that this is the way life is and always will be. If women do not enjoy this then they should be taught not to provoke men with their “ freedom to express myself” bullsh*t. It is NOT a man’s job to not sexually harass women, it is women's and they are not to be held accountable for their own actions.

So girls- next time you’re hollered at remember that you ARE their baby.


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