We all know that breaking up with your significant other hurts. There are a bunch of movies about it. But does anyone talk about how much a friend breakup hurts too?
We have all experienced it before, cutting ties with a girl or a guy whom you have shared all your insecurities and secrets with. Maybe it was someone you could call or Facetime anytime the slightest inconvenience happened to you, just so they can hear you rant.
Sadly, not all friendships are made to last forever, even if you want them too. I have always been told growing up that certain friends serve different purposes in your life, and that you can either grow with them or outgrow them. So this leads me to the question. What do you do when you and your bestie break up? Well, just like there are coping mechanisms for when you break up with your significant other; there are some for when you break-up with your friend as well.
1) Clean-up Your Social Media
You and your Ex- Bestie probably took millions of selfies together and uploaded them to your Instagram and probably captioned it things like “ The Blair to my Serena” or “ Girls can live without a boyfriend, but not a Best Friend”. When I say clean your social media, I mean deleting all those pictures. Even if they are cute or even if you want to keep it as a memory; delete it from your Instagram. A good way to stop hurting is to stop seeing those pictures that represent a “Good Time”. As for unfollowing, you don't necessarily have to do it, unless things get “petty”.
2) Go out and socialize
“Strangers are friends just waiting to happen”. When you move on from your past friendships, it is important to realize that there are still people out there that you can connect with and that not everyone has bad intentions. Socializing is very important, so go out there and try to meet new people and develop new friendships. Make a new friend who you have a common interest with. You might want to fill that void that your old friend left, because now you might not have that person to hang around. Just remember that there is always a better friend out there and that in order to create a strong new friendship, you have to do it through connecting and exposing yourself to that person.
3) Reflect
We underestimate the platonic relationships and how important they are. When we go through a friend break-up we also need time to grieve and reflect. Platonic breakups are just like Romantic ones. They both hurt because there was both trust and intimacy in both types of relationships. That's why you need time to grieve and to acknowledge that the break-up did indeed happen and that there might never be any amending. During your reflection also try to focus on why it's best to move on and think about the positivity the breakup might cause.
Always remember that no matter what caused you and your Ex-Bestie to break ties, it's important to always behave in a cordial matter. Never let out any of the secrets or insecurities the other person shared with you. It speaks a lot about your character if you do or don't. If there can be some sort of amending think about it first and decide whether or not it is a good thing. Lastly, don't ever be afraid or too embarrassed to talk about it. Keeping all those emotions in is not healthy. Express what you're feeling to your co-workers, family, or other friends. It is okay to vent, even if other people think you're making a big deal about it. Friend breakups are very much a big deal that a lot of people don't acknowledge.